I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
