Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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