isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
