I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
