How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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