Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
