I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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