I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she pinky promised me she was 18
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
