I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
