no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
