It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
