so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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