; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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