you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
