I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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