Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My friends, they love my intelligence
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
