i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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