she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
