umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
