i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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