Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
