How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
