OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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