Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Why can't burritos get me drunk
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
