What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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