I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
