Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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