At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
