just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How naked do you want me to be?
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