Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
