"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
