I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
