on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My balls are so social today.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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