I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Drake has all the answers
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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