just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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