We won't sleep together?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
