anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
