I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
