Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
MIDGETS
????
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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