boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
