i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
