So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
