Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
