id be glad to
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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