i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
