doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
