The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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