how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
