We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
