I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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