yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
