What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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