The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
