**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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