i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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