I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
