im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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